Dear Hadley

Dear Hadley,
Hopefully this will be the first of many letters yet to come.  I am so happy that you are here, alive and healthy.  The second you came out, I felt like I wanted to sob.  It was such a long and difficult road to get you here, and I was so relieved that we both made it.
There are few things as powerful as the birth of your children.  When you get older, you might want to know the story of your birth.  It all started last Friday about 7:00 am.  I was having strong contractions, but when I started timing them, they weren't very regular.  They were anywhere from 3-8 minutes apart.  I took a bath, got the kids up, did everyone's hair.....all in between stopping with each painful contraction.  Dad had showered and was lying in bed waiting for me to tell him we were heading to the hospital.  But I am a little silly when it comes to labor.  I don't want to go too early, and I don't want to go too late.  I told him to head to work because we weren't going to the hospital anytime soon.  I had to pick up Carston from school at 10 and then we were supposed to go to the library.  He said he would be expecting my call in a half hour :)
And that is exactly what happened.  The contractions were getting pretty painful.  I called my mom to come get the kids.  I called John and got his voicemail since his reception is so poor in his office.  And every time I had a contraction, I would decide it was time to go.  Then the contraction would end, and I would decide I was just overreacting.  Dad came home and we headed out.
Once we arrived, we found out I was dilated to a 5.  The pain had a purpose.  I am always scared of complications from the epidural, so I have to be hurting pretty bad before I want it more than I am scared of it.  It was quickly getting to that point.  My nurse said another woman came in at an 8, so she was up first.  2 hours later, with me gripping the bed rails and being on the verge of screaming :), I was still waiting for the epidural.  John decided to call the nurse.  Lucky for us, our nurse got him to come give me the epidural even though he was already 30 minutes late for surgery.  After he left, she told us that was a close one.  By the time he was done, I was at an 8.  If John hadn't called the nurse, the doctor never would have made it back in time and I would have been feeling the "ring of fire" and the stitches afterwords.  I was EXTREMELY grateful that didn't happen.  Not long after the epidural, the nurse checked me, said I was a 10 plus 2 (meaning you were already making your way out), put my legs together and went quickly for the doctor.  He told me to push.  You came out in 3 pushes.  John couldn't even believe it.  In one push, half of your head was out, another push for the whole head, and one push for your tiny little body.  We decided that is what happens when the babies are small :)  We couldn't believe that we had a baby under 8 pounds.  I think that might have had something to do with the fact that I was really sick for the whole month of February.
It was amazing when you came.  Absolutely incredible.  I often think about how babies are born every day, and yet, they never cease to be miraculous.  I look at your tiny fingers and toes, your eyes and ears, and I marvel that all of it was created inside of me.  Perfectly.  John talks about how crazy it is that my body knows how to make a heart and an eyeball.  It is almost unbelievable.
You weighed 7 lbs. 12 oz.  and were 20 inches long.  You have long fingers and toes.  You have a crazy toe-your pinky toe tucks behind all the other toes.  You have dimples and a full head of black hair.  You came out like Carston with dark hair on your back and shoulders and ears.  You are just so sweet and beautiful and absolutely perfect.  Your brother and sisters were so excited to come and meet you.  Dad videotaped it and said it will be one of the best videos we have.  It was a long road for all of us to get you here.  Everyone had to say goodbye to the mommy they knew and cope with the one who was always sick and unable to do anything but survive.  Carston and Avery love to hold you, Macy loves to give you your binky when you cry, and Kate decided you like when she plays peek-a-boo with you.
So often over the last week, I have thought about how grateful I am that God has a plan for me that is better than the one I come up with.  Pregnancy is hard for me, and I would have easily stopped with 3 kids or even 4.  But God had a plan for me and our family.  And he made sure to sneak you in.  I will be forever grateful for that.  You have only been here a week, and already I can't imagine our family without you in it.  I love you Hadley.
Love, Mom