Here is what my life entails: I spend lots of time cleaning (vacuum, dust, pick up toys and other miscellaneous items, scrub the bathrooms, wash blinds, mop the floor, scrub the carpet,etc), and then recleaning, helping Carston with his math homework and Avery with her reading, try to stay current on scrapbooks, journals, home videos, and family histories, struggle to fit in a meager 10 minute workout, make lunches and dinners, get breakfast on the table, drag myself out of bed each morning so we can fit in scriptures before school, take kids to and from school (3 trips a day), help Carston with his piano, make sure the dog is fed and watered throughout the day, attempt to keep the car clean, continually struggle to keep the ever evolving paperwork in our house organized, read my scriptures, do fun activities with the kids, go to the library, get down and play with the kids, spend time with John, work on projects around the house (like the killer bathroom that's so close to being done), chat with my sisters, try to finish my song, plan and organize activities and lessons for young womens, attend relief society meetings, attend young women meetings, go visiting teaching, play baseball with Carston, visit with my mom, dad, and brothers, pay the bills, grocery shop, clothing shop, read the ensign and other good books, research ways to best help my kids learn, babysit, do the laundry, try to do small acts of kindness for those around me, change diapers, attempt potty training with Macy, snuggles, snuggles, and more snuggles do FHE, givebaths, put kids to bed, warm up bottles, get up in the night to calm bad dreams and crying babies, plan family events, etc, etc, etc.
They are almost all simple, little things, but usually by the end of the day, I'm exhausted.
I'm a mom of four sweet little children. I love that. I love each one of them. I love that they are so close, that I get to enjoy their sweet spirits, that they make me smile and laugh every day. But it is hard work. Definitely hard work. It can be exhausting physically. It can be exhausting emotionally. And it can be exhausting spiritually. Lately I've found myself way too often with a negative attitude by the time John gets home. I hate that. Yes, it is hard work, but I want my attitude, my words, my actions to reflect the fact that I love my life. I wouldn't ever change our family, the ages and stages of our kids. I feel like I'm sitting on a fence. On one side is the attitude of "poor me, I'm tired, I need a break, this is hard, why does one thing after another go wrong, I can't keep up with everything, etc." And on the other side is an attitude of gratitude (corny phrase I know, but it is sticking with me), "I'm so blessed, I am so lucky, I am so grateful, etc." I feel like I've been leaning way too far on the negative side, and I want to be fully on the side of gratitude. It is like President Monson's talk where he talked about the two gardens. Throughout my whole life, there will be pleasant and unpleasant things. But I have the choice as to which garden I cultivate. And I definitely don't want it to be the negative one. That will only lead to misery, it will only lead to me robbing myself of the blessings in my life. And that is just stupid. So that is my focus right now, to change my attitude, no matter how long life gets on Sundays with mine and John's crazy schedules, no matter if I come home and find the dog has chewed up my shoe (my freaking awesome one too), no matter if all the kids are whiney at the same time, no matter if I'm tired and don't want to get out of bed, even if the thought of making another dinner makes me want to go insane, even when I have six loads of laundry to fold, even when the kids spill cheerios all over in the car when I just vacuumed, even when Macy spills her juice the day I mopped, even when there are so many meetings for young women that I feel like I hardly ever get to see my family, even when I feel like I can barely make it through the day, let alone go the extra mile. I'm excited. I'm excited to change myself, and in return my life, and my family's lives. I know I won't be perfect, but I'll at least be better. Anyway, I feel like I will have greater success with this is I tweak things in how we run the house. I feel like I've done okay with schedules, chores, routines, etc, but I think I could fine tune things and make it awesome instead of okay (here is where John would get on my case about reaching too hard for perfection :). I'm doing a lot of researching, but I'd love to know what works for you in your house, in any and every category: cleaning, chores, laundry, cooking, practicing, sundays, personal time, exercise, schedules, etc. I am on a mission to organize our life to perfection! Well okay, maybe I'll shoot a little lower on the scale. Like maybe...decent.
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7 comments:
Wow Natalie - you sound just like me. I really like how you described everything and how you really do love your life but find yourself in a negative mood sometimes. Anyway if you find the answer to how to do it all - let me know. I'm just trying to keep my head above the water with a smile on my face. Good luck - and you are a great mom and great example to so many people! Hang in there!
I love you! And think you're a great mom/person. Love the post, nicely put. I think just about every mom probably feels the same way. Your kids are lucky to have you are their mom. P.S. Let me know when you've decided how to be perfection and I'll take notes and just copy. Thanks for always doing the dirty work :).j/k.
Just reading your post got me a little stressed, thinking that there is no way I could handle what you do! I think that you just need to relax and know that you are doing what you can(I know it's hard) but you are always good at what you do so that's all you really need to know. Relax because nobody can really handle what you do, your super-mom and we all know it!
You have such a great way of putting everything we all feel into words! You are a wonderful inspiration to so many people! I feel like Stacy, just trying to keep my head above water! Let us know if you figure it out! Miss you guys! Oh, and I can't wait to see pictures of your killer bathroom!
girl...the "decent" train isn't so bad...maybe we'll live longer if we jump on that one.
love this post. (you live my life) It is so true that you balance the fence between gratitude/joy and exhaustion/being overwhelmed. I love your example. Thanks again for writing this.
I have so been feeling like what you described as the other side of the fence this whole week and yesterday was my final straw until night when I decided this isn't how I want to live. Then I get up and read your post this morning, ironic. I loved how you described everything. And hey, it's only fair for you to put what works for you if you're asking all of us! Seriously, I'd love to know!!
Hmmm, what works for me? Start and FINISH one load of laundry EVERY day. One a day seems like alot but so much easier than 7 on Friday. Plus one job, (bathrooms, mop kitchen, dust, vacuum, etc) start to finish, everyday. Jess and I usually take turns doing bedtime while the other one does dishes and clutter clean. As for paper, we stack it up on the counter until it starts to fall onto the floor then stuff it somewhere! Try it! Jk, if anyone has a good solution for paper I'd LOVE to hear it!
I so admire you!!! You are one of the mothers I look up to, to hopefully be more like someday! I jumped on the preschool recommendation so fast because I trust your judgment. If it comes from you it must be good!
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