My Focus

Awhile back, I stumbled upon a blog. I think I got there because of a post she'd written on another blog about parenting. Right away I felt like I'd found a "kindred spirit" (to steal Anne of Green Gables words). I felt like she was putting into words all the feelings and thoughts I never seemed to have the time or the resources to articulate so well. I loved reading her stuff. I feel like she is living my life a few years down the road. She even has a daughter who looks like Macy. Once a picture of her was on the screen and Macy came over asking, "Is that ME? That's me right?" And Kate always thinks the little girl is Macy too :) Anyway, I love reading her blog. I feel kind of strange because I don't even know this woman. Does that make me a blog stalker? If so, oh well, I feel inspired and ....what is the word....validated! I feel validated when I read her blog, like maybe what I think and feel and want isn't completely off :) Anyway, apparently she likes to pick a word that is her theme or mantra for the year. Instead of making all these different goals, she picks one things and focuses on it. I think one word makes it more of a concept or attribute to develop rather than a list to cross off. Which I like. I want to legitimately change myself. I don't want to just fool myself into thinking I've actually become something when all I'm really doing is monitoring my behavior more closely. Anyway, the word she picked for this year is "Present." Can I just say that when I read that, I felt even more strongly that this was the future me? Okay, now I'm definitely sounding weird (maybe that is because it is so late). Anyway, I'd been thinking about this concept for awhile. There are things about my character that are just driving me a little crazy lately. I've been struggling to figure out how I can change them. What tools do I need to eradicate them and replace them with something better. When I read her post, it all just clicked into place for me. This was how all my character flaws I've been struggling over are connected. I'm not being present. I'm not being fully present. I get distracted in my mind trying to make sure everything is getting done and all the multi-tasking will work out. I get distracted by so much self-analysis it is enough to make me want to go crazy (but really it just prevents me from having closer relationships with the people I care about). Anyway, this was it. This is the direction I've been praying for. Already, I find myself saying, "Be Present." When Kate is climbing around on me acting like a doggie, I ignore the phone ringing and soak it all in. Instead of absent-minded pats that I hope will content her, I'm full on jumping into the fantasy. And we both like it better. Just little things like that. Anyway, I want to declare it to everyone (or just document it for myself so it will be burned into my flesh and I will succeed). My focus for the next year is to BE PRESENT.

Miss Kate is 2!

(We let everyone decorate their own cupcakes...and John was the one who cleaned the mounds of sprinkles off the floor...he's the best :)

Kate turned two on January 8th. I cannot believe that it has been two years since we brought her home. We took her to Target and let her pick out some presents...Dora Doll with Boots and a Dora book that came with a little musical thing (it pained me to buy them at 50% off when I knew within a week they would be 75% off). As soon as Daddy was done running the YM basketball games, we headed to McDonald's for some happy meals. Kate loves "Nuggeets." After that we took the family to Kangaroo Zoo so that Kate could let loose with her wild climbing desires. We thought it would be the perfect thing for her. It didn't go quite as we expected :) Right at the first, she got knocked over. Between that and her missing her naps the last few days, she ended up clinging to us for the first 45 minutes :) After that though, she was all for it. She was super cute climbing up all the huge slides and running around with all the big kids. We love you Kate!

I had to document Macy....She is quite insistent on what she wears each day. And with her being a child who knows what she wants all the time, our lives would be miserable if I didn't allow her the choice on the things that don't affect her safety and salvation...hence these pictures :) She was wearing her leotard over her leggings and the jacket on top. I tried to get her to take the jacket off so people would know it was a leotard and not underwear, but that didn't happen. So here she is in all her glory, our SUPERMOO! I'm glad I've relaxed from all my preconceived notions...light up shoes, character clothes, mismatched shirts and pants, etc. We might look a little less polished, but my children are happier and have great imaginations and feel beautiful every day!

Ignorant Mother :)

I thought I'd post about this just in case it happens to anyone else.

Avery was sick. She was all congested. I was so happy that she had her ear tubes because otherwise I knew we would have been dealing with another ruptured eardrum. I felt like we were safe and she'd just have to pass through the annoyance of a cold. After a few days though she began complaining that her head hurt. After looking stuff up, I figured she must have a sinus infection. I'm a little dumb and didn't know that those should be treated with antibiotics. So I kept giving her medicine and we were suffering through the weekend. She was pretty miserable, but she did much better with medicine in her. Then came Sunday night. Her eye started swelling up like crazy. It was pretty weird. So first thing Monday I called and made an appointment. Good thing.

We went in and the doctor told us she had periorbital cellulitis. This is where the infection spreads to the soft tissue around the eye (hence the swelling). It can be dangerous because it can quickly travel into the eyeball itself and then up the optic nerve into the brain. CRAZY. They had to give her an immediate dose of medicine at the office by way of injection (I loved how the doctor was so careful to avoid any mention of the word "shot"). It was this awful shot that required a huge needle and took forever. They put numbing medication in it as well because it is so painful. We both were crying by the time it was over. The Barbie movie she got to buy at the store when we went to get her medicine helped her feel a little bit better.

Anyway, just in case anyone else is ignorant like me...Sinus Infections Can Be Dangerous :)

John is a thin man

John has had a bad eye since I've known him. It contributes to his "scary" persona. His constant squint can make it look like he has an angry glare quite frequently. I have "nagged" him for years to go to the eye doctor. He usually replied that he didn't want to wear contacts or glasses, they were too big of a pain. His grand idea has always been to just go get Lasik surgery. Well, he finally made an appointment, only to find out that....

HE IS NOT A CANDIDATE!

Apparently, his cornea is too thin. Kind of funny that his master plan was never feasible from the start. All these wasted years thinking he would fix it all with surgery. But nope, my thin man is thin all over...including his eyes.

The bad news didn't end there though. He found out that he has KERATOCONUS. This is an uncommon eye condition in which the cornea (the clear front window of the eye) becomes thin and protrudes. The abnormal shape causes serious distortion of vision. Mild cases can be treated with glasses or contact lenses, but the doctor told him that he'll eventually need a corneal transplant. It has been a bit of a wake-up call that we are not young whipper-snappers anymore. Our bodies have started the deterioration process.

Spelling Bee

There is a network of homeschoolers that I recently discovered (WHEN). They are amazing. They organize so many awesome events on their own time and energies because they are things they believe in. They get together for plays, ski lessons, Heber Valley Railroad, Geography Bees, PE classes, art and drama classes, etc. And all of these things are at a crazy discounted price since they are for school. It is awesome. Anyway, they had a spelling bee. Carston's meticulous mind makes him a good speller and he wanted to do it. I thought it would be a good experience for him to be up in public and all that jazz (he doesn't know anyone from the group). He didn't spend a lot of time practicing words, so I was interested to see how things would go.

It was SO entertaining! There were about 19 little 1st and 2nd graders in his group. It was very formal and professional with microphones and rules etc. I felt so bad for some of them. They walked up to get their first (easy) word, and their nerves got the better of them. They were out before they even got going. It was sad because they were surprised to have to sit down, and I'm sure some of them practiced for hours. Anyway, it was awesome to watch. One little girl got mad when she got out and tried to say she wasn't done spelling yet. Some of them spit their words out as fast as they could while some dragged them out forever. Carston was super cute up there. I seriously love that boy. He did great and was up there until almost the end. He got out on the word gene. It was kind of funny because he knew the words from the younger lists, so we were concentrating on the words from like 6th or 7th grade. He got 4th place. It went forever so part of me was glad someone was getting knocked out even if it was my own son. If I'm going to be honest :) It was awesome though. He was quite excited by his goody bag and liked getting a shake afterwords. Did I mention that I love this boy? He is a good kid and has developed lots of courage :)

Random Sayings from 2010

Avery: "I know something I'm really grateful to Heavenly Father for....He gave me our Jesus!"

Avery: "I know why we have birthdays! If we didn't have birthdays then we wouldn't turn into grownups and then there wouldn't be any moms and dads...just kids. And who would have the kids?"

Avery: "Tomorrow I want to help you with ALL your jobs. Not just three. I'll help you all day and not play." (Later that day) "Remember tomorrow I'm going to help you with all your jobs?" The next day she asked what my jobs were and I told her to clean the sinks. She went around all sneaky and cleaned every single sink in the house. And she even washed my mirror! :)

Avery: "Know what I really want?.....A closet! So I could put my clothes and shoes in it. Do you think you could buy me one at the store?" At our house, all her clothes are in a dresser and her closet is used for storage. She had been playing at her cousin Devree's house who apparently keeps her clothes and shoes in a CLOSET!

Carston: "What I wonder about is how did Heavenly Father get his body? Who made him?"

Carston: "How do traffic lights work? Like I thought maybe there was a cord attached that went underground to like a little button on the street that made it change when the car went on it."

Macy: Macy skinned her knee, so she went around telling everyone she had a broken leg :)

Macy: Carston and Avery were both at school and Macy was feeling lonely. "I want my brother and sister back!" She went around wailing.

Macy: Our kids like to watch home videos on Sundays. The only problem is that we haven't put any more on DVD since Avery was 1 1/2. One Sunday while they were watching, she turned to us and said, "I want to get BORN!"

Kate: Avery was crying, so Kate went up and gave her love pats on the back to help her feel better.

Kate: Kate loves to go tell everyone "Nigh-Nigh" when they are going to bed. Macy was already asleep, but one night Kate just kept going back and forth between Macy and Avery's beds giving them lovies.

Kate: One night Kate was crying and it was taking me longer to get to her. Sadie got concerned and started barking at me to go get her.

Avery: I know what Carston will be when he grows up....
Carston: What?
Avery: (With a little giggle) An EYEBROW man!

Apparently, she realizes how amazing he is at making crazy faces... by distorting his eyebrows :) I think she has a good suggestion, and I hope he'll use it next time someone asks him what he wants to be when he grows up. An EYEBROW MAN!

Funny Girls

My mom got back from Hawaii and was telling Avery all about the pig they roasted at a Luau. Avery was a little grossed out and responded by saying, "Well WE don't eat pigs!" When we told her that ham and bacon were pig, I was wondering whether I'd have a vegetarian on my hands since she is a sensitive little soul. Apparently her love of eating pig products is stronger than her love of the pig itself. After a thoughtful pause, she said, "Well...I guess they have to die so we can live!"

Kate likes to get the Lime Juice out of the fridge, get herself a spoon, sit down on the kitchen floor, and pour herself a little, sour drink.

"When you are exasperated by interruptions, try to remember that their very frequency may indicate the value of your life. Only people who are full of help and strength are burdened by other persons' needs. The interruptions which we chafe at are the credentials of our indispensability. The greatest condemnation that anybody could incur- and it is a danger to guard against - is to be so independent, so unhelpful, that nobody ever interrupts us, and we are left comfortably alone."

Anonymous from The Anglican Digest

Dear Kate

Dear Kate,

I cannot believe how much you are growing everyday. I love being your little interpreter and figuring out what you are saying. I love how you think you are just as big as everyone else. You don't want to do anything that would signify that you aren't as big as your brothers and sisters. That is why you've refused to wear a bib for months. I tricked you though. I brought Avery and Macy into the picture. As soon as you saw them wearing bibs, you had no problem with it. I do that a lot. I rely on them to be good examples for you because you follow their every move. And they love you a lot. The other night when everyone was going to bed, you curled up in Avery's bed and she read you a story. Macy followed her lead the next morning. Every morning, as soon as Macy hears a noise in your room, she runs in to "get you out (language left over from the crib days)". Speaking of cribs. You are a bit of a stinker now when it comes to sleeping. A few weeks before Christmas, you learned to crawl out of your crib. Before, you were so amazing at going to bed. AMAZING! When you started crawling out of your crib, you couldn't get back in. We thought things might go better with a toddler bed. They didn't. You refuse to take naps now, you get out of your bed every night, you open your door and come out, you lay down by the closed door and yell and mumble at us....it is awful. But still, you find a way to be cute while driving me crazy. I will pick you up and put you back in bed and tell you in my most stern voice to NOT GET OUT OF BED! You look at me with a little grin on your face, nodding your head, and mumbling "Kay...kay...kay..." As soon as I leave the room I can hear you jump off your bed and toddle over to the door. There are some nights where it takes every once of self-control not to laugh at your silly little face grinning up at me, feigning cooperation. You little stinker :)

You love juice, and refuse to drink milk. You love Dora. You are always bringing me the remote and asking for her (and then throwing a small fit when I don't acquiesce). You don't want to hold my hand in the street because the other kids don't, yet you'll readily hold Avery's hand. You find a way to get what you want. You look adorable in your winter hat and boots. Most of the time you call both grandparents "Grandpa." You eat doughnuts by picking the frosting off and leaving the rest. You love doing races down the hall with your siblings. You have an awesome dance where you go around in circles up on one foot and down on the other. You LOVE your daddy, and are always saying, "Hi Daddy." You are even trying to copy your older siblings when it comes to the potty. You've done a poop and a peep all of your own accord. Macy likes to put your diapers on, and you like to take them off :) You love going to nursery and walk ahead of me all the way down the hall and go in without so much as a glimpse in my direction. You love jumping. You'll crawl up on my bed, yell, "Watch me! Watch me!" and then jump forever. You scare all the grandparents and relatives (they all think you are going to kill yourself because of all your climbing and energy). You love playing with your sisters. If you and Macy are ever doing anything and I give you instruction or direction, you'll always look to Macy first to see what she's going to do before you make your decision.

I love you Kate. I love your cute little smile. I love that you get happy when you've accomplished something you wanted to do. I love that you snuggle up to me. I love when you come and whisper gibberish on my cheek. I love your look of concentration when you are "doing my hair." I love that you can stop yelling at me and talk nice if I just remind you. I love that we get to have such a sweet, fun, little girl be a part of our family!

Love, Mom