We had Macy's birthday party last night. I didn't take down the "Happy Birthday" banner before I went to bed. So when Avery woke up this morning she came out and said, "Why are there still decorations up? Am I four?"

"How Old Are You Macy?"....."Good."

Little Macy Moo is Two! I love this little girl to death. Yesterday in church a lady who doesn't know us very well made a comment about how she has two sides. That pretty much describes Macy. She is either Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde, she is either yelling at the top of her lungs or talking as sweetly as can be, she is either running around like a mad woman or curled up against you like a little ball. There is no middle ground with her. I seriously adore her and love that I get to be a part of her life and she a part of mine. Here are some fun facts about Macy:
1. She thinks she is big. She finds the biggest slide at the park and goes down it by herself (and never wants to stop). She tries to ride Carston's scooter, she refuses to ride in the stroller or cart (walked the Zoo for three hours and then ran around a park for another two one day). She hates to wear her own shoes, but can't get enough of everyone elses. She is a shoe thief and takes any visitors shoes, although she'll kindly bring EVERYONE theirs when it is time to go.
2. She is the sweetest big sister to Kate. I've always loved how she talks to her. She loves to hold her, wants to feed her, put ALL her blankets on, etc. She always likes to think that Kate enjoys sharing her swing with her. We frequently hear her yelling out for a rescue because she has trapped herself in the swing and can't get out.
3. She is obsessed with water. Every time we walk into the kitchen, we step in water puddles courtesy of Macy. She loves to dump water between cups, dump it on the ground, dump it on herself, pretty much anywhere.
4. John makes fun of how frequently she finds herself on time out. I think it is funny how she peacefully submits. Almost as though she doesn't quite care that she is going. I love how she always says sorry though, and how after a minute she'll start to yell, "Ready! Ready Mommy! I'm READY MOMMY!"
5. As John puts it she is the most polite and the least polite child wrapped into one. She says thank you all the time with no prompting, and usually repeats it multiple times for each occasion And yet, she yells at you, wants to take your things, etc.
6. If you ask her what she has, the response will be, "It's mine. It's mine Mommy," as she clutches it tighter.
7. She thinks she is the "queen bee." Apparently you need her permission to sing, or dance, or read, or eat. You need approval for the song choice on the radio, what shoes you wear, etc. In her mind she has the final word and veto power.
8. She has stunning blue eyes and super chubby cheeks.
9. She loves playing with her brothers and sisters, loves her daddy, grandparents, everyone.
10. She is catching up to the rest of the family (78th percentile in height) no longer looking like she'll be the big runt of the family.
11. When we went to the doctor, while standing at the receptionist's desk, she saw the doctor walking down the hall, immediately started to cry as loud as she could while she flung herself on the floor.
12. She hates getting her hair done. Lots of times I find myself trying to strap her down with my legs so I can get a comb through.
13. Most importantly, Macy LOVES Dora. Anything Dora. She can spot a Dora product from miles away. When she fell down the stairs at the park, she looked up and said, "I wanna watch Doooorraaaaaaa." Grandpa Danny indulges her on that whenever he's available :)














We love you Macy! Our family and home would not be the same without your sweet, energetic, funny, lovable little self!

When Planning your Wedding Day-You Never Can Start Too Early

Avery just asked me if I can buy her a wedding dress for when she gets married. Because she doesn't have one. She also decided that she's going to get married when she's older like me. Like maybe on her seventh birthday. And she's wondering who she'll marry. Maybe a prince.

Vote for Me-I'm Responsible!

Today Carston came home with his first sunburn because I didn't put sunscreen on him when he slip-n-slide-ed at his friend's house, and Macy pushed Kate, who was in the stroller, right off the sidewalk and she crashed onto the street (while I was 15 feet away). Anyone want to nominate me for the "Mother of the Year" award? I think today's events would totally get people's vote :)

P.S. Carston totally ate his dinner tonight without me nagging AT ALL even though it involved almost no food that he cares for! Way to go Carston!

I Survived Girls' Camp

(Doing the wave for the "Non-Talent/Quirky Skills Show")

(Top of our hike to Lone Pine)
So I survived another year of Girls' Camp. I'll just say that it was much easier not being 5 months pregnant. I was really happy with how everything turned out. All of the leaders, myself included, put a lot of prayers, time, and energy into camp, hoping to make a difference in the lives of the girls. It was so rewarding during testimony meeting and other times, when they expressed how some activity or something that we had done had made an impression on them. There are so many things I want these young women to get, and when they say they get it, it just makes all the hard work worth it. I loved hearing a girl talk about how she knows Heavenly Father loves her. Another talked about how much the letters from her parent and grandparents meant because it was the first time they'd said "I love you." Another one talked about how she knew that people were put into her life for a reason, and she knew that at times, she would also be the answer for someone. A girl who isn't a member stood to express her feelings, how she liked how it felt being there. You don't always know if what you are trying to teach is sinking in, so when you get those moments where you see that it has, it really means a lot. It makes all the work and emotional burden worth it. It was also amazing to see how much some of the girls have grown in just a year. I love seeing them reach the point where they have stopped worrying solely about themselves, and have become strong enough and unselfish enough to turn their focus towards helping and loving others. It was awesome. And they are the sweetest girls. So many of them expressed so much gratitude for everything the leaders had done. I love those girls so much. I feel like their second mother. It was a little bit complicated leaving my kids, especially Kate since I'm her food source, so I'm so grateful to John and my mom for making that possible. I wouldn't have trusted anyone else with all four kids :) I'm so blessed to have them in my life.

Just a little update on the "hard thing," and no Heather, it wasn't another lip sync, although I would have definitely preferred that. Last year, I felt impressed that I should write a song, so I did. I even figured out music for it. Anyway, I finished it early enough that I could get a few girls to sing it with me up at camp for my devotional. Well, this year I again felt like I should write a song. As I started, I really liked the ideas I was getting and liked where it was going. But time kept passing and passing, and I just wasn't getting the inspiration or the time to even finish the lyrics. I started thinking that it wasn't going to happen. So about two weeks before camp, I started getting the impression that Heavenly Father wanted me to sing it by myself, and that was why I couldn't get it done earlier. Let me say, that up until about a year ago, singing a solo was on the list of "things to never do in my life." But I was making one of those lists, about a year ago, of things to do before I die. I started thinking about how I didn't want to have fears, fears that dictated my actions and stopped me from doing things. So I put sing a solo on the list. However, I didn't think that opportunity would come up quite so soon. Anyway, so I had a choice to make. I could forget about singing the song and do my devotional without it, or I could ask Heavenly Father to help me overcome this fear. Oh yeah, I forgot to say that the theme of my devotional was this: we shouldn't hold back from doing things, from serving others and the Lord, because we think there is someone who could do it better. We stand where we are, and though there are others who could do what the Lord wants better, they aren't standing where we are. So we shouldn't let our thoughts that others gifts are better than ours stop us from sharing the beauty and the gifts that God gave us. So, you can see how I didn't really have a choice to not sing it because I was scared. So, I decided I'd do it. I asked the Lord to help me finish the song, which I did the night before I left. I still was scared to death. I wouldn't sing it for John or my mom. I practiced in the car Thursday morning as I drove up, and I prayed my heart out that Heavenly Father would help me get through. And I did. I did it. I sang it all by myself. My whole body was literally shaking, even my stomach. My voice shook, it wasn't very loud, and at times I had to take a longer pause to get my emotions in check, but I did it. So after I sang it I let them open their eyes, and then I asked them to raise their hand if they thought that somewhere out there, maybe even within this circle, they thought there was someone who could sing that song better. Sweet little girls that they are, they were hesitant to raise their hands, Bishop was honest though :) Then I asked the same question but with writing the song. And then I talked about how we should use our gifts even if there are others who could do it better because those people who could do it better aren't in our position, etc, etc. Anyway, all of the girls were so sweet to me about it. And I might be biased, but I think that it was pretty powerful, more powerful than anything I could have said. It really was one of those situations where my actions spoke much louder than words. And it probably didn't hurt that they could literally see and hear my fear :) So I'm kind of rambling about it, but I feel like it was a choice that will change the course of my life. It was an opportunity for me to say to the Lord, okay, I won't hold back. I will give whatever you want me to and not let my fears or insecurities stop me. That being said, I'm not anxious to go out and sing another song:)

My Dad and my Kids Dad

What would a blog be without a tribute to the fathers in my life for Fathers' Day? I wish I was as eloquent as my sister Chelsey when it came to putting feelings down in words. As I thought about my Dad this week, I just kept thinking about how he is always there, never absent from anything. He was there when we were little, present for birthdays, holidays, and family gatherings, he never missed a dance recital-even though they were over three hours long and three nights in a row, he was at every school assembly or half-time I was involved in, he was there to send me off to every dance, making sure that every boy knew I had a father back home who didn't want any boy messing with his daughter, he was there when I was sealed to John in the temple, he was eager to hold my new little babies...The list is endless. And we give him a hard time about how many pictures he takes, but I cherish all the moments he has captured for me to appreciate and remember again and again. I couldn't ask for a better father, he made the choice to be the father he never had, and I am grateful for that. Our home could not have been what it was without him and his good decisions. I also couldn't ask for a better grandpa for my kids. They all know that they can turn to Grandpa Danny to get what they want. He's never slow to bring out a treat, or turn on a Dora show, or even go all the way home from the park to get Carston some baseballs. I admire his patience (which he's learned by "waiting on a woman" his theme song-no offense mom:) I admire the sacrifices he gave so that my grandparents could be such a huge part of my life, and so my mom could care for them. I just love my Dad.

Of course I have to write about the father of my children. John is the most amazing father. I love that he is willing to take care of our kids while I travel all over. I love that he watches the kids so much so I can take care of young women things. I love that he wrestles with them when he gets home even though he's tired. I love that he is a good provider and knows how to work hard. I love that he wants to keep a record of all the times Macy goes on time-out and why because he thinks it would be funny. I love that he plays and talks to our kids without any thought as to how people might look at him. I love that he lets Avery brush and style his hair, that he'll play princesses with the girls, or barbies, or dress ups. I love that he tells them stories from his childhood at night. I love him. When it comes down to it, if your kids love their Daddy and want to be with him, you know he's doing it right.

I have a love-hate relationship with doing hard things. I know it is good for me, that I'm better for doing them, but sometimes I am so scared to death to do them. If you think of me on Thursday night, say a little prayer because that is when I'll be doing my hard thing. Hopefully. Unless I chicken out. But that isn't really an option at this point. So yeah. Send a little courage and serenity my way.

Standing O

Standing O? What may you ask warrants such high praise? Nothing out of the ordinary. I simply went to the store with all four kids by myself. Happens all the time. But I got a Standing Ovation for it on Thursday. The positivity from it was kind of negated though because I also got called "Ma'am" in the process. Here's how it went down. I had to go to Macey's to get tickets for the Parade of Homes. So off we went. Had Macy in the front of the cart, Kate and her car seat in the back, Carston on one side, and Avery on the other. We went about our business, getting a few groceries, a little treat, the tickets, everything went just great-no tantrums or crying, they were awesome. We head out to the car and as I start to get Macy out I hear this, "Ma'am? Ma'am?" Is someone talking to ME? I turn around and see an older man looking at me expectantly so I say, "Yes?" "Ma'am, I feel like I just want to applaud you!" He says as he gives me a double thumbs up. Um. What do I say in response? "Yep, we made it!" with a little thumbs up myself. I got in the car and started laughing. I would have expected something like that if we are on vacation in another state, but seriously, my little brood and I aren't that much of a freak show here in Utah, are we?

No Smiles for this Boy Today

I made a decision in the heat of the moment and now I have to live with the consequences. Before I explain, there are two points to be understood. First, cooking is not my most favorite thing to do in the world. But I do it because I love my family. Second, eating a variety of foods is not Carston's most favorite thing to do in the world. And up until now I haven't really made him because when you only have one kid, it isn't a big deal to make a "second dinner" more to his liking. I know, I know, I should have never started doing that. What can I say though, I was a picky eater myself growing up so the empathy got a little out of hand. With more kids, and the bad example that "I don't want to eat that it's sick" brings, I reached my breaking point (it only took 6 years). So yesterday.... I spent the time making Veg-Head Chili. It's pretty good. Of course when I put in on the table, Carston starts saying that he doesn't want to eat it etc. Pretty soon Macy and Avery are copying him saying it is gross. So I snap and calmly explain that we are doing something new. If you don't eat your dinner, you can have it for breakfast. If you don't eat it for breakfast, guess what you are having for lunch. Etc. Bottom line, you will not be given any other food until you eat your dinner. John of course is celebrating on the inside because he's been wanting me to do this forever. I can't say the same about Carston. Of course Avery and Macy start eating and finish their food in a couple of minutes. Carston....It is now 2 in the afternoon and his bowl of chili is still sitting in the fridge. Let's just say it has been a fun day. The minute I woke up and remembered what I did, I thought, "Oh crap." I'm determined to stick with it though, otherwise all the suffering up to this point has been in vain right? We'll see how it turns out. I'm hopeful April that I'll have the same success story as you. Having that running around in my brain is probably what pushed me to do it :) It is just one of those times where the phrase, "This hurts me more than it hurts you," keeps going through my mind. I'm not doing much smiling either.
UPDATE: So I have pictures to post but am too tired to do it. The day continued pretty much the same. Carston took a couple naps during the day because he had zero energy because of the zero food-one right next to the toilet I might add because he felt like he was going to throw up and even though I told him it was because his tummy was hungry he still wanted to go by the toilet. John came home (John finds the whole thing totally funny, and I have to laugh too or I'll cry because it is too sad), and wanted to make him use up more energy so he'd be hungry so he was dragging his limp body around outside for awhile trying to get him to play basketball. Carston spent half the time shooting airballs and the other half laying on the grass. His friends came over and he perked up a bit. Then came dinnertime. We had coupons for free ice cream cones, so I talked about going to get those after dinner. Of course he wanted one. After thinking about it hard he said he was going to eat his dinner. Time ticked by. More time. More time. He WAS eating it. Sweet little kid. The first bite he took he said how good it was even though you could tell he didn't believe it. After awhile he was asking why his prayer wasn't working (he had asked that he'd eat his food and like it). Anyway, down to the wire, time is almost out, two bites left, and he asks what happens if he throws up (My mom tells me that is what I'd do as a child when she'd make me eat something I didn't like). I tell him not to worry, so he gets a big bite....and yep. You guessed it. Veg-head chili all over the kitchen floor. He could care less about that though, he just wants to know if he still gets his ice cream. I let him, but I try to make sure the point is driven home. What happens if you don't eat your dinner Carst? "You get it for breakfast, and then for lunch, and then dinner, and then breakfast again. I did good huh mom because I didn't have to have it for breakfast again, I did it for dinner the next day." Hmmmmm. Hard to say who won this round. Carston didn't have to eat it for 24 hours. I had to deal with him being upset and comatose for 24 hours. He eventually ate all but one bite. I had to clean up regurgitated veg-head chili. For some reason, it isn't quite as appetizing today as it was yesterday.

Where has the time gone?

Where has the last month gone? I know I'm old now because I talk all the time about how fast time flies, how it just goes by faster every year. It's true though. I can't believe school is already out, I can't believe that the missionary down the street is already coming home (we have an additional two kids since he left, is that considered insane?). So a brief insight into the last month. My brother-in-law presented the perfect opportunity for a trip since he was graduating from medical school. My parents and brother were going, with a stop in Chicago to see Cho, what better time for me to tag along. So I bought my ticket and figured I'd have to get babysitting arranged so I didn't waste my money :) I don't think I hate anything as much as asking people to watch my kids-well maybe the dentist (who I won't have to see for along time now, last cavity filled yesterday). Anyway, the trip was awesome. Kate and I quite enjoyed ourselves. I really was on vacation too. I didn't cook a single item of food, no dishes washed, no cleaning, and finally an opportunity to spend the christmas and birthday money I'd been hoarding (can I just say that I love H&M and wish they'd put one in Utah). Kate was a total angel, and it was such a blast to spend time with my family as an individual with barely any motherly duties. John is such an amazing husband and father for encouraging it and taking care of the other three little hooligans. I love you babe. And OB, I think you are just so amazing for what you have accomplished. Nothing was handed to you, but you know how to work for what you want. And Heather, it really was your graduation as well. You did it guys.

Here's the crew.

Most beautiful baby :)

Dustin is the best uncle. So much fun spending time with you Dust. And Bertha is coming soon, I just feel it :)

Aren't my parents the best. I love that they love each other (you can see my mom's expression in the reflection)

One more in case you disagree with the most beautiful baby comment :)