I Survived Girls' Camp

(Doing the wave for the "Non-Talent/Quirky Skills Show")

(Top of our hike to Lone Pine)
So I survived another year of Girls' Camp. I'll just say that it was much easier not being 5 months pregnant. I was really happy with how everything turned out. All of the leaders, myself included, put a lot of prayers, time, and energy into camp, hoping to make a difference in the lives of the girls. It was so rewarding during testimony meeting and other times, when they expressed how some activity or something that we had done had made an impression on them. There are so many things I want these young women to get, and when they say they get it, it just makes all the hard work worth it. I loved hearing a girl talk about how she knows Heavenly Father loves her. Another talked about how much the letters from her parent and grandparents meant because it was the first time they'd said "I love you." Another one talked about how she knew that people were put into her life for a reason, and she knew that at times, she would also be the answer for someone. A girl who isn't a member stood to express her feelings, how she liked how it felt being there. You don't always know if what you are trying to teach is sinking in, so when you get those moments where you see that it has, it really means a lot. It makes all the work and emotional burden worth it. It was also amazing to see how much some of the girls have grown in just a year. I love seeing them reach the point where they have stopped worrying solely about themselves, and have become strong enough and unselfish enough to turn their focus towards helping and loving others. It was awesome. And they are the sweetest girls. So many of them expressed so much gratitude for everything the leaders had done. I love those girls so much. I feel like their second mother. It was a little bit complicated leaving my kids, especially Kate since I'm her food source, so I'm so grateful to John and my mom for making that possible. I wouldn't have trusted anyone else with all four kids :) I'm so blessed to have them in my life.

Just a little update on the "hard thing," and no Heather, it wasn't another lip sync, although I would have definitely preferred that. Last year, I felt impressed that I should write a song, so I did. I even figured out music for it. Anyway, I finished it early enough that I could get a few girls to sing it with me up at camp for my devotional. Well, this year I again felt like I should write a song. As I started, I really liked the ideas I was getting and liked where it was going. But time kept passing and passing, and I just wasn't getting the inspiration or the time to even finish the lyrics. I started thinking that it wasn't going to happen. So about two weeks before camp, I started getting the impression that Heavenly Father wanted me to sing it by myself, and that was why I couldn't get it done earlier. Let me say, that up until about a year ago, singing a solo was on the list of "things to never do in my life." But I was making one of those lists, about a year ago, of things to do before I die. I started thinking about how I didn't want to have fears, fears that dictated my actions and stopped me from doing things. So I put sing a solo on the list. However, I didn't think that opportunity would come up quite so soon. Anyway, so I had a choice to make. I could forget about singing the song and do my devotional without it, or I could ask Heavenly Father to help me overcome this fear. Oh yeah, I forgot to say that the theme of my devotional was this: we shouldn't hold back from doing things, from serving others and the Lord, because we think there is someone who could do it better. We stand where we are, and though there are others who could do what the Lord wants better, they aren't standing where we are. So we shouldn't let our thoughts that others gifts are better than ours stop us from sharing the beauty and the gifts that God gave us. So, you can see how I didn't really have a choice to not sing it because I was scared. So, I decided I'd do it. I asked the Lord to help me finish the song, which I did the night before I left. I still was scared to death. I wouldn't sing it for John or my mom. I practiced in the car Thursday morning as I drove up, and I prayed my heart out that Heavenly Father would help me get through. And I did. I did it. I sang it all by myself. My whole body was literally shaking, even my stomach. My voice shook, it wasn't very loud, and at times I had to take a longer pause to get my emotions in check, but I did it. So after I sang it I let them open their eyes, and then I asked them to raise their hand if they thought that somewhere out there, maybe even within this circle, they thought there was someone who could sing that song better. Sweet little girls that they are, they were hesitant to raise their hands, Bishop was honest though :) Then I asked the same question but with writing the song. And then I talked about how we should use our gifts even if there are others who could do it better because those people who could do it better aren't in our position, etc, etc. Anyway, all of the girls were so sweet to me about it. And I might be biased, but I think that it was pretty powerful, more powerful than anything I could have said. It really was one of those situations where my actions spoke much louder than words. And it probably didn't hurt that they could literally see and hear my fear :) So I'm kind of rambling about it, but I feel like it was a choice that will change the course of my life. It was an opportunity for me to say to the Lord, okay, I won't hold back. I will give whatever you want me to and not let my fears or insecurities stop me. That being said, I'm not anxious to go out and sing another song:)