(Sorry it is blurry-it's a phone picture)
So after everything we've been through the last 3 years with Avery's ears, she went in this morning and had tubes put in. I'm so filled with gratitude for Heavenly Father, for him guiding and directing us as we prepared her so she would be able to be calm and unafraid (she does not have a good track record relating to anything medical). I feel like John and I were also guided with the various decisions we had to make throughout this journey, and we were able to feel peace. I was really impressed with the Utah Valley Hospital. The had a great program we went to a few days before for kids who were having surgery. Avery got a hospital doll that she drew a face on, they took her through all the steps she'd go through when she had her tubes put in. I know if we didn't go to that, it would have been another story entirely. She was so composed and cooperative this morning-there were no tears and no cries for her mommy. She told me after that she was a little shy there, but overall, everyone there made her feel so special. I'm grateful for that. I guess it is common for doctors to recommend an adnoidectomy when kids get tubes, but John and I decided against that, and I feel good about that decision. It would have made the surgery a much bigger deal than it was.
I kind of had a hard time when I realized that we were out of options and Avery would need the tubes. She has been struggling with her ears for about three years. Throughout all that time, John and I prayed a lot about what we should do, routes we should take, etc. We tried several different things, and they'd work for a time, but the trouble would always return. I never wanted to do the tubes though, and I knew people thought I was crazy, but I just never felt like we should. So when we found ourselves on this path, it was hard for me. It made me doubt my ability to be in tune, recognize, and follow the promptings of the Spirit. I wondered if it was my own fears that had pushed me away from tubes rather than the Spirit. If that was the case, then what kind of a parent was I? Over the last few days though as I have studied the scriptures, the Lord as truly blessed me. I feel like I was guided to study the things I did so the Spirit could speak peace to my heart. I first read about Nephi obtaining the plates. Here was a very righteous man, and I'm sure he was praying for guidance as he sought to obtain the plates from Nephi. But he didn't reach the objective on the first attempt. He didn't even reach it on the second attempt. Was it because he couldn't recognize the Spirit? Of course not. But there were other purposes that needed to be accomplished, other objectives he did not understand, that were accomplished through his failed attempts. Another day I was studying about the early saints of the church. They relocated at least four times before they found a place of refuge. I'm sure everyone was praying that they'd be led to the right place. And yet, even as they were being led, they weren't immediately led to Salt Lake. There was a reason why the Lord led them to the other places first, even if those places did not offer the sanctuary they were seeking. The last thing I read about was Zion's Camp. It was organized with the purpose being to help the persecuted saints seek redress and recover their property. They traveled almost 1000 miles, suffered hunger, thirst, fatigue...And in the end, when they reached the saints, they were disbanded. So, did that mean that the Lord did not lead them to organize the camp? No. To those who were a part of it, they thought the purpose was to help the saints, but the Lord had another purpose unrelated to that. It prepared many of those involved to lead and guide the saints to the Salt Lake Valley.
I don't understand why I was guided to try all these other things for Avery's ears, when in the end, none of them were the final solution. But I do trust that I was guided, that there are purposes and reasons I do not know about or understand, and I'm so grateful for the insights and comfort I've received this past week as I've studied the scriptures. I know that is one of the most powerful ways for the Spirit to speak to our hearts. I'm grateful for a Heavenly Father who loves me, and watches over me and my family. I am so blessed.
No comments:
Post a Comment