Dear Carston

Dear Carston,

Sometimes I look at you and my heart skips a beat. How did my little Car Cars turn into this tall mature boy? I can't believe how quickly life changes. It doesn't seem like long ago when it was just you and me, spending our days together. Now you're going to school all day, playing with friends, and I miss you. It was really hard this year having you go to school all day...I'm just not ready to lose all my time with you :) It has also been an adjustment as you've started to keep more of your thoughts to yourself. Again, what happened to the little 2 year old boy who said everything that came into his mind, the boy who never stopped talking? You know they say your dad use to do the same thing, but I find that hard to believe :) I wish I could know everything that goes on when you're not with me. If you come home grumpy, does it mean someone hurt your feelings, or that you are tired of sitting still in class, or that you got hurt at recess? It is hard for me to let you leave the security and safety of my reach. This is the time where all the years we spent together, playing and learning and growing, will be put to the test. I hope that I have taught you well enough to stand up for what is right, to be a good friend to everyone, to work hard, to have fun with the people around you, to be respectful and responsible for yourself. One day you came home and told me about an experience at school. It gave me hope that you had learned what was important. One of your friends had given you a piece of candy during class. Apparently that was against the rules. When the teacher asked him about it, he lied and told the teacher he didn't do it. So the teacher turned to you and you had a choice to make: tell a lie so your friend wouldn't get in trouble, or tell the truth and be an instrument in your friend's punishment. You told the truth. You don't know how good that made me feel! Carston, there are so many things I love about you. I love that you say such sweet, thoughtful prayers. I love singing with you. I love hearing you try out all kinds of crazy silly voices and expressions (you are constantly telling me to look when you've got your face contorted into some new shape). I love your passion for baseball and other sports. I hate when I have to stop playing with you because I know you'd hit for hours if I kept pitching to you. I love that you are so sweet to Kate and Macy and Avery. You are a good big brother, which will be a blessing to them for their whole lives. I love your desire to do what is right. I love your faith expressed through prayers and blessings. I love that I don't have to wonder if you are being a good friend at school, or if you are being respectful to your teacher. I love your desire to learn new things. I love seeing the concentration on your face when you play video games, and appreciate your ability when we all play together :) It makes me smile to see you so self-conscious when you have a seriously loose tooth :) I love your big beautiful smile. Carston, you have been blessed with so many talents and abilities. And you have also been blessed with a sensitive spirit. I know that you will be able to do great things as you grow and have a family of your own. I cherish the time we get to spend together, the memories I have of my first baby boy.

Mom